What life is all about..?!? What is marridge all about..?!? Life partner..?!? Married..? Then divorce..? Can I trust all these..?!?!? It's so confusing...

          Now is 4th January 2009, 3.34am... School going to start very very soon..very very soon.. Why all these happened when school going to re-open.. WHY..?!?!? I'm taking STPM end of this year.. Do they know this kind of thing happens will affect my emotions, study, mood, ... ... DO YOU KNOW..?!?!?! What I want is a harmony family..!! Why I dont have..? Whether you want to continue to stay together or separate, divorce, it's all about you, yourself..not us, not your children.. I'm so jealous upon my classmates and friends that they have the family that I hope for, that I want... I think ALL these is about COMMUNICATION..!!

          To be frank, my family members dont have communication.. Our communications are superb poor.. during this long term holidays, everyday I wole up, I hope that my dad was not around, so that I'll be more comfortable. When he's around, I'll like oh my gorsh he's at home. For now, I don't like he packs breakfast for me. I know maybe one day when I want him to pack breakfast for me will not have this chance anymore...and I'll regret.. But what can I do..?? What should I do..?? This is how and what I feel now.. When you lost it only you'll regret and you know how to care for it. This is mankind.. 

          My mood now is totally BAD..!! I remember what Aunt Karen told me before.. She said that what happen now is given by God, it's to examine you and God wanna prepare you for the future. Future.. What my future will be..?! Harmony family will come back to me..? Or any other things else..?

     Today went to see High School Musical The Ice Tour at Bukit Jalil with Moon Hong, Xiang and Lai Yan. This is my very first time going for such show. We went there by Titiwangsa Star LRT at about 4.30pm..and reached there about 5.10pm.. Damn early..!! We've been waiting there for almost 3 1/2 hours.. From day waited till night..

     We went in the stadium at 8pm and got our seats. Our seats consider good view..! The show started at 8.30pm and ended at 10.15pm.. The show is absolutely nice. I really enjoyed and salute all those "ice-skaters".. They're very very talented with the ice-skating skills... Hope I can learn it one day..

    The most wasted thing I felt for this show is that they're not the real actors and actress of High School Musical... They are just replaced by all those talanted "ice-skaters"...  If not, the show will be better... I took 49 shoot of photos with my phone as a memory.. While my friend took hundred over of photos until her phone's battery gone.. 'Geng' le..hehe...

          Holidays ended and school started. Today I received a government letter from teacher saying that my school transfer had been rejected... The whole Forn 6 students got rejected from the government. According to my friend, my school and V.I.'s teacher passed our transfering letter to the government late..that's why both school students can't transfer.

          I don't know I should be happy or sad...?!?! It's because from the beginning, study Form 6 is not my wish. My wish is to go to college life. But study Form 6 just need one and a 1/2 year and I can go for university or degree.. It's a short and fast way. And of course this road is ten times tuffer or even more than ten times tuffer than Form 5..it need to be very very hardworking and no playing anymore..

          Today a teacher told us that don't do the thing that is not from your heart. It would not helps you. Do thing that is from the bottom of your heart.. you will be more happy and satisfy even though it's just a small thing. These words really give me the impact.. Since I can't transfer school, I really have to take this time to consider seriously, do some research and hear from others. Do not waste the time..!

          If I really wanna study collge, I have to find a college that is good in tourism management..or else no use.. Nilai International Unversity College not bad..but the tuition fees and stuff are expensive..!! PTPTN..?!?! But after study, when I'm working I have to pay back also..calculate a bit it's not worth to have loan... Haiz...

          Or I just go for form 6 le..?!?! And go for degree after that..!?!? Or college..!??! Form 6 or college..!?!? 

         Oh no.. I'm so so antinomy..!! What should I do..?!?!